Survival Tips for Moving Your Elderly Loved Ones

Whether moving a senior loved one(s) across the country into a new home, into an apartment, or into a senior community, the process can be challenging for inexperienced family members. Many reasons present themselves for the need to move your elderly loved ones from their long-time home. Declining health or declining mobility requires special consideration for quality of life and for safety. Becoming isolated and alone because of this decline can be detrimental too. The need to move a senior parent or grandparent from their own home becomes a domino effect the longer they wait to decide. Adult children or grandchildren want to ensure the transition goes smoothly by tending to not only the logistics of their move but also their health and finances. The pandemic has caused many to put a hold on their decision to move but with the hope of vaccine deliveries coming and the coming of spring, many will make the choice to wait no more.

These six tips can make this difficult process easier.

1. Communication and Choice
Seniors can be emotionally vested in the home they are leaving, and it is expected that there will be sadness, apprehension and sometimes anger about the move. It can be a tough conversation to have with your aging parent.  Give them time to grieve this idea of their perceived loss; of change.  Talking through what their living options are and why there is a need for them to move are good conversation starters.  Allow them time to absorb the idea before forging ahead with plans.  When seniors are asked to leave their longtime homes, a frequent cause of distress is their perceived loss of control, so give your loved one as much choice as possible as they plan for and implement the move because allowing the choices to be their own helps make the transition smoother. Sometimes a neutral third-party, like another family member or friend, or perhaps a professional move manager, can help ease into these conversations when emotions running high.  

2. Plan Effectively
Before families begin the sorting and organizing process, it helps those in transition to have a visual - a graphic in their mind’s eye of what they are moving into. What rooms need to be furnished? How many square feet the new residence has? Home Again Transitions recommends plotting a scaled floor plan of your loved one’s new home on graph paper and suggests cutting out pieces of paper to scale that represent furniture items.  Knowing first where they will live and, second, what furnishings will fit there puts to rest a lot of the unknowns that cause anxiety.  This not only eases stress levels but also helps to save on cost by preventing any need to lease a storage facility for relocating furnishings on move day that do not fit or having to ask the movers to facilitate this.  We recommend 6-8 weeks of planning and sorting to downsize, a few hours each day with them to prepare for the move.  Make a list of all change of address notifications that need done also at this time and begin handling those.  

3. Enlist Relatives or Friends
This will undoubtedly be a big job, so enlist help from your family or their friends. Encourage siblings or other close family members to take a few days off work. Even children and younger members in the family can participate. Surrounding your senior parents with loved ones who are “supportive and encouraging” could help ease the emotional stress of this transitional time as well.  In fact, the older we get, the more difficult it is to adjust to change.  Developing a plan that ages with them is the best course of action so as to avoid moving again and again. 

4. Sort and Organize
Moving your elderly parents will involve downsizing. Do not simply begin packing because so many items will not fit into a much smaller home.  Go through the house item by item with your support team. You can categorize objects to make the process easier: items to be moved, keepsakes to be left with family, items to be sold or donated, and items to be thrown out. Don’t allow yourself to become a packing robot lacking feelings. Honor their emotional attachment to personal belongings and allow your senior parent to reminisce as you help sort out their possessions. Remember, these are not just things you’re moving - they’re memories. Also, be open to your own emotions, especially if this was your childhood home.  You may even find enjoyment of hearing their stories. 

5. Clean and Repair
After the downsizing and organizing is complete, begin packing items that are not used daily.  Once this is complete, there is work that still needs to be done. Whether the house is going to be sold, rented or passed on to another relative, the general requirements are the same: The house should be cleaned, and they should consider making any required repairs now before any get worse. It’s better to take care of maintenance issues all at once rather than dealing with them later while the house is for sale (or after renters move in).

6. Plan the Moving Day
There are a few different strategies to consider for moving your senior loved one on move day.  Do they have pets that need tending to? Do they need medical attention throughout the day? Do they have transportation to the new home? Do they require installation of durable medical equipment in the new home? Our recommendation is to call Home Again Transitions and let us help you develop a plan, organize, pack, and settle your loved one into their new home.  We can even help to liquidate furnishings no longer needed, take care of hazardous waste, and clean their home to prepare for market.    

Of course, each family’s circumstances are unique, so we hesitate to give blanket advice, but we hope these tips help you better plan and execute your elder loved one’s move when the time comes.

Wanted: Risk Takers

The New Year is always an appropriate time to reflect on our blessings and resolve to do a better job of things like taking better care of our health, spending more quality time with our spouse or children, learning a new skill or hobby, or generally being a better person.  Yet a large percentage of resolutions fail within 2-3 weeks. 

Is it because there is an ever-present risk of failure knocking louder than the vision of reward, or because we did not risk enough in choosing a resolution that builds excitement about what our new goal could do to enhance our comfortable lives?  I believe we set ourselves up to fail by gradually losing the vision of what a better, new-improved “you” or future life looks like and through sheer lack of concerted effort over the long-haul we ultimately assume our goal is too big a risk to end up failing again so we just stop trying and pretend we weren’t resolute about anything. 

Like a lot of people, we dropped anchor in a long-time home and raised a family, nourished careers, watched our family grow larger and grown older together.  We have suffered losses and enjoyed life’s celebrations.  We have lived fairly full and rich lives embracing all the joys and the pains that come with living. We have weathered the storms and grew from them.  We have regretted the chances we never took and rejoiced in those we did, but no matter how old we are there comes a time in us all when we sense something new stirring within.  We recognize that we should move out of our comfortable shoes and walk barefoot into the unknown. 

For my husband and I, the stirring came again not too long ago in the form of yearning for new careers.  We took a leap of faith and never looked back.  For us, each day musters up new challenges, new reasons to expand our minds, and yes, even suffer new failures to learn and vibrantly grow from. 

Perhaps for you, your stirring comes in the form of yearning for someone or something to love.  Perhaps a stirring to seek out a new lifestyle that suits your current physical or emotional needs such as a home without physical obstacles or one closer to family or even strangers so that you are not so isolated and alone but free to make new relationships.  Your stirring may simply be an admission that you need some help, but have been too stubbornly independent, or too proud, or too embarrassed to ask for it.  You are not alone.  We collectively all go through the same normal evolution as humans “growing” older and learning to navigate our changing bodies.  

For many, embracing change beyond 80 years of age, or 70 or sometimes even 60-years of age is never even considered because the changes our bodies and minds are going through is enough adjustment to endure.  The mere thought of stepping out into an unknown existence never enters your thought process.  It is a risk to consciously make a change.  Let’s face it, the very definition of risk is the “possibility of danger, or possibility of impending loss or suffering”, and it’s easier, safer to allow that stirring feeling to fade away to a routine, stable, comfortable existence that risks nothing.  

Consider this, without risk those embers of hope once stirring slowly dwindle to only a glimmer of light.  Without risk there is little excitement brewing; little to look forward to.  Life becomes stagnant, unchanging, boring.  Choosing not to risk anything actually becomes a risk in and of itself.  Yet, risks can look different than you might expect too:  Like the danger of falling in love; the danger of meeting a new friend who just “gets” you; the danger of loving a song so much you have to sing it really loud.  Dangers lurk learning a new skill or in sharing your skills with others. You might see the danger of becoming proud of yourself; the danger of laughing so hard you cry.  For you there may be danger in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough open your heart instead of closing it. 

Just as risks can take on different forms, the rewards can often appear in unexpected ways too.  Difficult conversations give way to new clarity.  Finishing in second place can sometimes show up as motivation.  Endings become new beginnings and sometimes, just maybe, the reward is nothing more than a slight shift in how we view the world and who we are in it.  

I believe that we serve more than one purpose in our lives and those purposes evolve as we grow.  I believe we are called upon to engage in the world with others so that our purposes may play themselves out into whatever life lesson, or support, or comfort is needed at any given moment most often without our even knowing it. 

Growing older is not a means to the end of life.  Growing older is an opportunity to grab hold of and enjoy.  An opportunity to keep learning, growing, and building stronger relationships.  An opportunity to engage with the world in wiser, more meaningful, and different ways than we did when we were younger. 

I challenge you to embrace risk this winter.  Do not succumb to the status quo of a mere existence.  Make the choice to act on your stirring deep within. In the words of Joanna Gaines, Editor of Magnolia Journal: “Whether you make it a big splash or simply tip toe off the edge, eyes closed, praying for a gentle landing – “harness your inner courage to navigate the unknown.” 

You don’t have to go it alone.  Share your risky vision with someone close to you or bring in a professional service to help, but put a support system of people in place who can catch you when you stumble, nudge you to keep going, or hold your hand when the fear and anxiety becomes too great.  Just don’t give up.  “When you feel that stirring to lean in and change something, that is your cue to hold steady and work things out.  Sometimes what may look like the easiest “no” in your life becomes a slow “yes”.”  What gets us to spring is accepting the risk of winter.  Set a course and make a new path for others to follow.  You’ll be glad you did. 

Holiday Gift-Giving Dilemmas

The change in cooler weather gives way to thoughts of the holiday season and, for some, gift giving woes. My gift-giving woe is traditionally what to do for my parents and in-laws.  They have reached the stages in their lives when they want for nothing material and certainly do not need to clutter up their lives with many more things especially after we have spent time helping to downsize their possessions into something more manageable.  What then can we give them to show we care?  What gift will give them that moment of joy we yearn to see on their faces.  

Most folks as they age put a lot more stock in relationships than things.  Spending time with older loved ones is the number one wish on their lists.  Now with the upsurge of Covid-19 spending quality time one-on-one may not be possible.  Maybe it’s time to explore the long-forgotten art of picking up the phone and calling rather than texting.  Having some talking points planned ahead can make your conversation more meaningful.  Ask questions about getting to know them, the real person, not just the mother or father or great uncle you already know, but who they were as a child or a teenager, or what it was like serving in the military or what it was like in the era they were married.  Find out what their favorite movie of all time is or who their first love was.  

Even letter writing or daily journaling in your own life about what’s been happening over the past year and giving it to them to catch up on the little things we miss sharing in quick conversations can bring you closer together.  If your parents or elderly loved one has kept up with technology even to some extent, there are now multiple virtual ways to interact with them and renew or strengthen your relationships.  Focus on helping them create new memories with you or help to recreate for them special old memories.  What better gift can you give?  

Here are a few more ideas to get your creative juices flowing. 

• iPad or Tablet - Technology is alive and well in the gift-giving arena.  Most baby boomers already own an iPad or Tablet, but if they don’t it might be time to invest in one for them so you video chat while opening gifts.  

• Digital Photo Frame - NixPlay is the number one digital photo frame on the market.  Available online or through Best Buy, it offers Wi-Fi sharing of photos and videos across multiple connected frames. Check out their Buying Guide to choose the best product for your needs and then consider purchasing NixPlay Plus to get the whole family involved for sharing across multiple frames through their downloadable App.  Price points can be prohibitive but consider getting the whole family to all chip in as a group gift.  

• Custom Photo Gifts - Shutterfly’s website is fairly User Friendly for creating photo gifts, and nothing is more meaningful than creating something useful that also has a photo which captured a special memory.  Puzzles, Pillows, Mugs, Calendars, and Lap Blankets are just a few of the photo gift ideas they offer.  Check out Shutterfly.com for more ideas.  My son is a bit of an Adobe Photoshop whiz and likes to restore old worn out photos for his grandparents and then enlarge them in shiny new frames where they come alive again.  Consider having a photo service help to create a photo collage of old photos on their wall all in black and white of either old family photos or of a favorite vacation or a favorite event.  It will look stunning and allow them to revisit those memories every time the walk into the room.  

• Books, Kindles, and Reading Supplies - For those who love to read, we all know heading to the library is not really an option these days.  Perhaps get them a Kindle to read downloadable books.  If they already own a Kindle, I recommend an giving them an E-book, or an Unlimited Subscription, or a Kindle Caddy (a beanbag Kindle holder that gives your hands a rest) is especially great for those who suffer from arthritis; or simply an Amazon Gift Card to purchase more E-books of their own choosing.  For those who prefer the real thing (an actual old-fashioned book) consider a Lighted Full-page Magnifier to make reading less strenuous on the vision challenged.  

• - Quality Time - It bears repeating that spending quality time together is always the number one wish on older folks wish lists.  Number two is revisiting old memories.  Consider setting a date for a virtual visit.  Here are some ideas:  Set a date for virtual dinner together.  You could have something delivered to them and to yourself at a predetermined timeframe and enjoy a video chat while sipping some wine and enjoying a favorite take-out cuisine or maybe pizza and a beer is more to their liking.  Better yet for those who know their way around the kitchen, choose a cuisine, choose a recipe, and cook your meals at the same time together first.  

• Virtual Events/Memberships/Classes - Perhaps you could set a date to watch a virtual Museum, Art Gallery, Zoo, or Theme Park tour.  These websites have some of the best: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/travel/a31784720/best-virtual-tours. ; https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2020/mar/23/10-of-the-worlds-best-virtual-museum-and-art-gallery-tours ; https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/free-virtual-tours/.  

The idea is that no matter what personality type your older loved one is, keeping relationships alive by spending quality time with them is key.  You just need to spend a few minutes deciding what are their favorite pastimes and how you can best engage in them along with them either in person or virtually to light up their faces with joy.  I hope your holiday time together this year is more meaningful.

Actually, Somebody Does Want Your Stuff!

The old adage: Someone’s trash is another’s treasure is easy to say but difficult to embrace when it is you who must filter through a lifetime of “stuff” that needs to be downsized. Coupled with escalating anxiety once the overwhelming accumulation of things is rediscovered from years of storage in the attic, the garage, the spare bedroom closets, and the storage shed outback - it can all be just too much to handle when family lets you know they are not interested in having any of it.  It is disheartening to say the least.

Do you wish that great grandmother’s china might be passed down to a great grandchild?  Yes.  Do you hope the Persian rugs your children once crawled on find their way into their homes?  Of course. 

Friends may suggest donating to a charity, but the pandemic put a halt on accepting any donations for quite a long time and some charities are still not accepting donations. Tight deadlines of closing on the sale of your home and moving into your new one often leave you with few options. 

The good news is that selling your unneeded possessions can be the solution you need and is surprisingly satisfying prior to a move. 

Maybe your kids do not want your stuff, but I’m here to tell you that other people do. Lots of people, many of whom need and value your stuff more than you – or your kids. From one mother who found your china matched her pattern and now she has the number of place settings needed to have the entire family over for Thanksgiving dinner to the newlyweds who are delighted to have the mid-century dinette set and matching end tables to fill their starter home. Or the divorced mechanic who was thrilled to have his own set of tools in hopes of starting his own business to the daughter who helped transfer your large chest to her newly divorced mother’s apartment. 

The central story becomes of those people who inherit your stuff as second acts rather than about you or your emotions.  It is also something more: disposing of your belongings in this way offers a chance to reconsider your community you have lived in for 30 years and a way of giving back. People are willing to ignore the scratches on that dinette set or forgive the fact that the china set was missing one cup. 

Do some experience regret awaiting their auctions to begin? Sure, many do.  Reminding yourselves that limited storage space in your new home does not afford that option helps to keep your focus on the goal.  You may not get rich from dispersing your belongings this way, but the unexpected rewards are that you will likely earn enough to cover hiring the help to prepare it and other needed services as well as the satisfaction that your stuff now has a second act.

Unexpected Emotions Running High

It is peak moving season!  The housing market is at an all-time high, despite Covid-19’s social distancing and hygiene protocols.  Many sellers this year are folks whom we serve for their downsizing, liquidation, and moving prep needs because the market is good for sellers.  Older adults are continually deciding to leave their larger, long-term homes for smaller, more maintenance-free dwellings that are also free of stairs and other obstacles that can pose safety hazards for older bodies and offer a more social lifestyle. 

Without a doubt, most people know that prepping to sell a home with the long list of To Do’s and all the packing is never fun.  It is a necessary part of the (more exciting) moving transition process.  Older adults rarely consider the rush of emotions that can flood their hearts until they are in the thick of it.  Why? Because this move is different. 

Previous moves in their lives were a move up the ladder with a bigger home and more belongings needed to fill their ever-increasingly busy lifestyles.  You simply packed up everything you owned and moved.  A downsizing move can be much more challenging because it is about “letting go”, of stuff, sometimes sentimental stuff.  Revisiting the nooks and crannies of your lives as you go through closets, attics, basements, and spare bedrooms can elicit old memories - some fond, some fraught with sorrow or regret.  The emotions that can ensue have been known to affect even the most stoic of folks. 

We have seen clients become so overwhelmed they were paralyzed to move forward.  We have seen other clients who handled the transition well, but had difficulty adjusting to the new home and all the changes the new space brought with it.  Even getting used to new television stations, new neighbors, new habits or lack of habits, new noises or lack of noises can be enough to cause buyer’s remorse, irritability, depression and more. 

Change is difficult, but it can be even more difficult the older we get.  Humans are very adaptable beings; however, the time it takes to adjust to change becomes more time-consuming and more difficult the older we are.  In fact, professionals tell us that environmental change in our 70’s and 80’s can take anywhere from 6-8 weeks before we feel at home again. 

Psychologists’ Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale lists move-related stress at #3 on the list of high stress-provoking life events, just under the levels of stress related to Death of a Spouse and Divorce.  

The North American Nursing Diagnosis Association even recognized “Relocation Stress Syndrome” as an official diagnosis in 1992.  It is defined as the physiological and psychosocial disturbances that result from a transfer from one environment to another.  In fact, stress-related ailments make up 75% of all doctor’s visits in the United States.  Symptoms can include depression, increased anxiety, withdrawal, confusion and multiple other symptoms, which can certainly exacerbate any current medial conditions present.  

In other words, it’s a big deal!

So, what can we do about it?  

There is no need to consider staying where you are.  Go ahead and plan to move if that suits your needs.  There are several ways to help mitigate the effects of this emotional stress.  

Plan Ahead 

First and foremost, PLAN AHEAD!  Give yourself several months to prepare for this move, which may possibly be your last move.  Sorting through every nook and cranny of your home and property takes time.  Time you will want to discover things you have forgotten you had and opportunities to revisit those memories.  Realizing ahead of time this transition may affect you emotionally is half the battle.  

You Can’t Take It All
Recognize at the onset that you cannot take everything with you and decisions will need to be made to purge a large amount of goods.  Remember, you no longer wanted the responsibility of maintaining things anymore, right?  Most of these items are things you have not used in years. Experience has shown us that family and friends very likely do not need or want them either.

You have other options for finding homes for your belongings, just ask us.  Recognize that although the process seems like you are giving up a lot, you will be gaining more in the freedom of a new stress-free lifestyle where there is more time for things you enjoy.  We are specially trained to assist with your sorting, downsizing and liquidation needs. 

Create a Space Plan
Work out a space plan that is to scale of your new home to ensure everything you wish to take will fit.  Not just fit, but have a comfortable, safe space it will live that won't become a tripping hazard or ruin the aesthetics of your new home.  This also saves you money in the long run by not taking too much stuff.  We are happy to create a space plan for you.  

Choose a Partner
Work with someone.  This not only is an overwhelming task but may pose strain on an already frail body or other physical limitations.  Working with a friend or family member makes the time go faster and makes the time involved not feel so overwhelming.  It is good to have a partner to listen to reminiscent stories, which becomes part of a healthy letting-go process.  The person you choose to work with should be someone who is patient; who will honor your wishes and let you be in control; who will not create more chaos by being late or disorganized. 

We are specially trained to work with you for not only your physical needs but your emotional ones also.  Just ask us.  Being forewarned is also being forearmed to handle what comes your way.  Older adults also tend to cherish relationships more than things as time rolls on.  Keeping in mind this quote from Socrates - “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” may also help you reach your goal.

Top 3 Tips for Downsizing Your Home

I work with senior citizens every day to help them plan for and implement a smooth transition from a large family home of many years with square footage from 1800-3500 to a smaller 700-1500 square foot ranch, condominium, duplex, or even an apartment-sized home.  The physical and emotional challenges of “what to do with so much stuff they no longer need” are enormous.   Emotions can run high during a time of much anxiety when the To Do List seems to grow larger rather than smaller. 

Having a little tunnel vision for a project this size is a necessity to getting things done in a timely manner and reaching your goals.  From my years of experience working in many and varied living environments, there are several common traits to all large downsizing projects that I would advise to anyone starting this phase of their lives.

1. Start Early   
It is never too soon to start purging.  In fact, I recommend starting as soon as the children leave the nest by making the kids responsible to get rid of their own clothing, trophies, mementos, and the like.  Becoming a warehouse for your children’s belongings is never wise.  

Beyond that, start as soon as you begin feeling that home upkeep and yard work are no longer enjoyable tasks of homeownership.  Waiting until your long time family home is sold is a disaster waiting to happen because stress levels are already high and having the enormous job of purging becomes too overwhelming to do it properly. 

2. Start Small   
Start with small projects like a junk drawer, a closet, a child’s/guest room that is a manageable task that can be completed in 1-3 hours or less.  You achieve a sense of accomplishment and a “Can do” attitude about moving forward onto the next project until you finally feel empowered to take on the attic or garage or storage shed. 

Work in smaller chunks of time; don’t “shoot for the moon”.  Setting aside an entire day to clean out the attic right away will not only exhaust your energies but likely leave a bigger mess to deal with that tends to linger on longer than necessary.  

Decide in advance how much time you can spend without jeopardizing other routine daily tasks.  This may be 2 hours, 1 hour or even just 15 minutes a day, but be committed to yourself for sticking with a schedule. 

3. Only Make 3 Sorting Piles – No Maybe’s 
Organized sorting consists of making decisions about what to keep; what is good enough for someone else to use; what needs to be disposed of.  Sorting out a “maybe pile” is irrelevant.  Here’s why:  If it is a “maybe”, it is definitely NOT a valuable family heirloom.  Maybe says, “My family may need this someday”.  The likelihood of your family needing or wanting the thing, which has already outlived its fashion era or technological prowess, is very small.  

Maybe says,” I may need this again someday”.  Chances are, the very few times you may actually need the thing again it could easily be borrowed from someone you know or rented and given back.  Older adults are nearly always in denial about the fact that their lifestyle is likely going to change dramatically. 

Maybe says, “This was a gift, I feel like I should keep it”.  Most people give gifts to honor an event or show their care about you for a fleeting few moments of joy.  Most people do not intend that keeping their gift is a life sentence.  Let someone else find joy in it. 

Following these three tips will not only help you actually accomplish your goals but also make sorting out a lifetime of memories more enjoyable. 

COVID-19 Update

We at Home Again Transitions are continuing to maintain all Ohio Department of Health and CDC Guidelines for safety as local businesses and the general population attempt to get back to some semblance of normal while coming out of the pandemic social distancing process.  The safety of our most vulnerable citizens, our clients, is of utmost importance to us and the communities we serve as well as our own staff.   

Maintaining daily records of employees’ temperatures, limiting the spread of airborne contagions by wearing masks and gloves on the job, daily sanitizing of our company vehicle and work tools on a continual basis, and maintaining good onsite air circulation when possible are all activities we implement daily to do our part to control the spread.  We had already implemented the ability for Virtual home visits for consultations previous to the pandemic, and this service may be utilized through FaceTime, Skype, or other platforms for anyone how owns a smartphone, tablet or iPad.  We are also happy to resume consultations through in-home visits as social distancing guidelines are relaxed a bit while maintaining all safety protocols.  We have continued to offer and hold our online auctions for our clients who wished to liquidate belongings no longer needed all while continuing to successfully maintain the Covid-19 protocols.  I am pleased to report that overall auction results for the most part have not been impacted by the pandemic due to our conscious efforts to remain compliant with Covid-19 safety protocols.  Thank you to all who participate for your support!  

Supplying staff lunches to frontline workers at The Abbewood Senior Living Community and stuffing treat bags for all residents at the Wesleyan Meadows Senior Living were just two of the ways we have been supporting our local communities.   These are small but heartfelt efforts to convey our gratitude for all involved in doing their part to help keep our clients safe.   

We understand these are unprecedented times, so we will remain vigilant to help uphold all restrictions with clients either living on their own or living within local Senior Communities we serve until such time that those restrictions are lifted.  I am proud of my team for their continued commitment to our Mission Statement and the clients we serve as well as their support of the pandemic protocols.  We would like to thank our local Senior Communities and our clients for your continued confidence in Home Again Transitions.  It is Joshua J. Marine who said, “Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”  We are hoping you all seek to find a more meaningful life on the other side of the pandemic.  

Dee Mele, SMM-C, President

Start Your Downsizing Decathlon and Spring Clean Your Life

Ah, spring makes me think of spring cleaning.  How are you gearing up for it? I like to begin spring cleaning my home by downsizing things I no longer use or need.  Here at Home Again Transitions we work with clients who are downsizing to a new, smaller home and stress 10 tips on how to accomplish this as a recipe for success. 

We call it a Downsizing Decathlon because downsizing is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. It took each of us decades to accumulate all of our things and it’s going to take a lot of time to rid ourselves of them too. 

It does not have to be a dreadful task if you follow these tips:

1. Develop a move plan by assessing what you need to do and your timeline for getting it done.

2. Think strategically by sequencing a plan that maximizes the marketability of your home if you plan to sell. 

3. Create a scaled-floor plan to remove the guesswork and avoid costly, stress-producing errors on move day.

4. Work in smaller chunks of time rather than hours and hours in a given day; 15 minutes a day can accomplish a lot without wearing yourself out.

5. Sort your things.  Don’t pack things you no longer use and move them with you. You can make money from the things you no longer need.

6. Do a reality check to compare space in the old home to space in the new home by measuring.

7. Take control of your project and don’t let it control you. Be firm with others about accepting belongings from you on a deadline of when they need to remove them from your home. 

8. Design your move to suit your own needs on a schedule that works for you.

9. Forgive yourself for what does not get accomplished. Not every plan is perfect and perfect is the enemy of good.

10. Ask for help from a friend, relative, or neighbor to make it more enjoyable or hire a Move Manager like Home Again Transitions.

We are project managers who plan and implement all of the above tips for you while you remain in control.  Downsizing my home each spring actually spring cleans my life because I have a new outlook with freedom from the responsibility of maintaining those things. It’s good feeling! “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” – Socrates.

Please feel free to contact Dee Mele, at 440-213-1068 or dee@homeagaintransitions.com for your free in-home consultation.  

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New Year, New You?

January has past and if those New Year’s resolutions have also already started to fade away, it’s time to shake things up a bit.  If you are like many of the clients I work with, your homes have become cluttered to a point of no return; not since January, not since last summer, but over many years things piled up.  Perhaps these belongings became more important to you in filling voids that life has thrown your way from substantial loss of a spouse or a child, dear friends or a pet, the loss a job or even your health.  Perhaps materialistic endeavors cause you to surround yourself with the familiar items that now define you. Regardless of the reason, I believe cluttered living spaces only lead to cluttered minds and depress our thoughts and actions to a point of being paralyzed.  I see clients who have become socially isolated and create safety hazards over the years in the process of keeping so much stuff. Too many belongings are the cobwebs our lives become trapped in. Taking action against the clutter is the only way to avoid a stagnant lifestyle and move forward. 

I attended a presentation by author, Joshua Becker about his book Becoming Minimalist where the notion of downsizing comes into play.  I was inspired because I gained a clearer focus on the impact my profession can have as a Senior Move Manager in helping enable and empower older adults to start new beginnings. “Owning less enables you to live more” is what the author shares in his book through his own spiritual journey to find happiness by embracing and adapting to a more minimalistic lifestyle.  Neither he nor I am suggesting some form of Zen philosophy and living with Monks. We all live in the modern world with many of life’s “things”, the author just chooses to live with a lot less of them than most. His definition of minimalism is - The intentional promotion of everything we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.  Determining what you value most and then getting rid of all things that keep you from promoting those values is the starting place.  Whether you value generosity, relaxation, enjoying grandchildren, gratitude, money – whatever it may be- owning more possessions gets in the way of focusing on those values by distracting us from all that gives meaning, fulfillment, and happiness to our lives.  Your life can be dramatically different and significant when you take the steps to become more minimalist because you have more opportunity to pursue your greatest passions. Humans tend to put less value on “things” and more value on relationships as we age. Let the act of clearing your clutter be the catalyst that can redefine your life, a life less focused on holding onto the past and more on pursuing your greatest potential by seeing how life is better with less.  Home Again Transitions can help you see 2020 as the year you discover a new you; one who realizes what you offer to the world can be more an act of contribution and love than one of being a tiresome burden with too much clutter.   

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Downsizing - Prepare for a Grateful Exit

Upon retiring in 2010, Journalist Ellen Goodman wrote:  “There is a trick to a graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over – and to let go.”  There is a time to let go of a family home too. It’s often not as graceful an exit as family members may have hoped for. The multiple steps involved seem never ending to those involved in the process.  First coming to an agreement that it’s time to let go; creating a timetable that works for everyone; and the actual getting rid of stuff – lots of stuff. Do we sell it; do we give it away; does anyone in the family want it; do we throw it out?  Where can we take this stuff?! How do we begin? Where do we begin? It’s a challenging and difficult task for everyone, but especially those who are sentimental and appreciate the memories that are embedded in the possessions.  

Janet Hetzer and Janet Hulstrand’s book, “Moving On, A Practical Guide To Downsizing The Family Home” they learned that there are two kinds of people when it comes to cleaning out a house.  There are “the throwers” who relish the experience of clearing out and moving on and who will empty a house quickly and efficiently. And, there are “the keepers” who are compelled to linger over the process and preserve special things and special memories.  Unfortunately “the keepers” and “the throwers” are oftentimes married to each other so trying to work together in harmony can be a challenge.  

The Pros and Cons:  “Throwers” get the job done.  They can let go of things easily and have the ability to separate the object from the memory.  They don’t get bogged down in emotions or memories. They work quickly and may miss out on both good things and interesting experiences.  They may also miss hidden money or valuables; they may miss fascinating entries in a diary or perusing an old trunk with their own baby clothes.  “The keepers” are compelled to hang onto things and memories and linger over the process. They are historians. They preserve things so the rest of us can appreciate what makes the family unique and understand our history.  They also take too long to get it done – it’s never really done. They savor every item and get caught up in emotions sometimes to the point of agonizing over whether to keep, toss, or donate.  

Which is better?  Both types of people are needed to get the job done.  It takes a combination of these attributes to successfully downsize the family home.  If you find your family lacks “keepers” or “throwers” you can hire a Senior Move Manager to help get the job done quickly, efficiently and without sacrificing loss of memories and history.  Downsizing, as the ladies say in their book, is coming “to the realization that the most valuable thing in the house is the life that has been lived there”. That is what I call a graceful exit. 

Dee Mele, SMM – Home Again Transitions

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Seven Rules for Letting Go

November’s cooler days and colder nights typically bring more and more daily activities indoors.  As such, you may be contemplating a change in living space. If this is your mindset, now is the time to begin resizing your belongings to fit your current lifestyle.  So many rooms in the home may now be unused yet still need heated, cooled, maintained and cleaned; so much upkeep to prepare for winter and spring and repairs to make in maintaining the home; so many accumulated possessions over the years have likely outlived the purpose they once had.  When planning a move to a smaller, more manageable home, many clients I work with cling to the thought they may still need those possessions into the next decade only to find boxes upon boxes of items that never get put away or used again after they move. Resizing your possessions to fit your current lifestyle is critical to designing a move plan that is more cost efficient and less stressful physically and emotionally.  Taking the time to go through this process not only saves time and money on packing and paying to move items you no longer need, but it allows your mind time to prepare to let go of belongings that may have meaning. At Home Again Transitions, we focus all resizing efforts on also reducing waste in the landfills. Resizing allows for charitable contributions, recycling, and in most cases the opportunity to earn some extra cash with our help.  

We offer older adults tips and tricks when working with them that aid in the process of resizing their belongings to fit their current lifestyle, whatever that may be.  Many of which are common sense organization; however, if you have a more than gentle affection toward the “stuff” filling your home and find it extremely difficult to let go of possessions to allow someone else find joy in it, then you may need more than our normal tips and tricks to begin your resizing process.  You may have developed habits that are counterproductive and difficult to break.

At Home Again Transitions, we work one-on-one with clients in teaching the Seven Rules of Resizing:

1. Unused In A Year Rule

2. Decide In Five Rule

3. One Touch Decision Rule

4. Waiting To Buy Rule

5. House On Fire Rule

6. Place For All Rule

7. Procrastination Rule

All are focused on making a commitment with oneself, a contract of sorts, which enables the resizing process to begin. If you would like to learn more, please feel free to contact Dee Mele of Home Again Transitions for a free in-home consultation at 440-213-1068 or dee@homeagaintransitions.com.  

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