Whether moving a senior loved one(s) across the country into a new home, into an apartment, or into a senior community, the process can be challenging for inexperienced family members. Many reasons present themselves for the need to move your elderly loved ones from their long-time home. Declining health or declining mobility requires special consideration for quality of life and for safety. Becoming isolated and alone because of this decline can be detrimental too. The need to move a senior parent or grandparent from their own home becomes a domino effect the longer they wait to decide. Adult children or grandchildren want to ensure the transition goes smoothly by tending to not only the logistics of their move but also their health and finances. The pandemic has caused many to put a hold on their decision to move but with the hope of vaccine deliveries coming and the coming of spring, many will make the choice to wait no more.
These six tips can make this difficult process easier.
1. Communication and Choice
Seniors can be emotionally vested in the home they are leaving, and it is expected that there will be sadness, apprehension and sometimes anger about the move. It can be a tough conversation to have with your aging parent. Give them time to grieve this idea of their perceived loss; of change. Talking through what their living options are and why there is a need for them to move are good conversation starters. Allow them time to absorb the idea before forging ahead with plans. When seniors are asked to leave their longtime homes, a frequent cause of distress is their perceived loss of control, so give your loved one as much choice as possible as they plan for and implement the move because allowing the choices to be their own helps make the transition smoother. Sometimes a neutral third-party, like another family member or friend, or perhaps a professional move manager, can help ease into these conversations when emotions running high.
2. Plan Effectively
Before families begin the sorting and organizing process, it helps those in transition to have a visual - a graphic in their mind’s eye of what they are moving into. What rooms need to be furnished? How many square feet the new residence has? Home Again Transitions recommends plotting a scaled floor plan of your loved one’s new home on graph paper and suggests cutting out pieces of paper to scale that represent furniture items. Knowing first where they will live and, second, what furnishings will fit there puts to rest a lot of the unknowns that cause anxiety. This not only eases stress levels but also helps to save on cost by preventing any need to lease a storage facility for relocating furnishings on move day that do not fit or having to ask the movers to facilitate this. We recommend 6-8 weeks of planning and sorting to downsize, a few hours each day with them to prepare for the move. Make a list of all change of address notifications that need done also at this time and begin handling those.
3. Enlist Relatives or Friends
This will undoubtedly be a big job, so enlist help from your family or their friends. Encourage siblings or other close family members to take a few days off work. Even children and younger members in the family can participate. Surrounding your senior parents with loved ones who are “supportive and encouraging” could help ease the emotional stress of this transitional time as well. In fact, the older we get, the more difficult it is to adjust to change. Developing a plan that ages with them is the best course of action so as to avoid moving again and again.
4. Sort and Organize
Moving your elderly parents will involve downsizing. Do not simply begin packing because so many items will not fit into a much smaller home. Go through the house item by item with your support team. You can categorize objects to make the process easier: items to be moved, keepsakes to be left with family, items to be sold or donated, and items to be thrown out. Don’t allow yourself to become a packing robot lacking feelings. Honor their emotional attachment to personal belongings and allow your senior parent to reminisce as you help sort out their possessions. Remember, these are not just things you’re moving - they’re memories. Also, be open to your own emotions, especially if this was your childhood home. You may even find enjoyment of hearing their stories.
5. Clean and Repair
After the downsizing and organizing is complete, begin packing items that are not used daily. Once this is complete, there is work that still needs to be done. Whether the house is going to be sold, rented or passed on to another relative, the general requirements are the same: The house should be cleaned, and they should consider making any required repairs now before any get worse. It’s better to take care of maintenance issues all at once rather than dealing with them later while the house is for sale (or after renters move in).
6. Plan the Moving Day
There are a few different strategies to consider for moving your senior loved one on move day. Do they have pets that need tending to? Do they need medical attention throughout the day? Do they have transportation to the new home? Do they require installation of durable medical equipment in the new home? Our recommendation is to call Home Again Transitions and let us help you develop a plan, organize, pack, and settle your loved one into their new home. We can even help to liquidate furnishings no longer needed, take care of hazardous waste, and clean their home to prepare for market.
Of course, each family’s circumstances are unique, so we hesitate to give blanket advice, but we hope these tips help you better plan and execute your elder loved one’s move when the time comes.