It is peak moving season! The housing market is at an all-time high, despite Covid-19’s social distancing and hygiene protocols. Many sellers this year are folks whom we serve for their downsizing, liquidation, and moving prep needs because the market is good for sellers. Older adults are continually deciding to leave their larger, long-term homes for smaller, more maintenance-free dwellings that are also free of stairs and other obstacles that can pose safety hazards for older bodies and offer a more social lifestyle.
Without a doubt, most people know that prepping to sell a home with the long list of To Do’s and all the packing is never fun. It is a necessary part of the (more exciting) moving transition process. Older adults rarely consider the rush of emotions that can flood their hearts until they are in the thick of it. Why? Because this move is different.
Previous moves in their lives were a move up the ladder with a bigger home and more belongings needed to fill their ever-increasingly busy lifestyles. You simply packed up everything you owned and moved. A downsizing move can be much more challenging because it is about “letting go”, of stuff, sometimes sentimental stuff. Revisiting the nooks and crannies of your lives as you go through closets, attics, basements, and spare bedrooms can elicit old memories - some fond, some fraught with sorrow or regret. The emotions that can ensue have been known to affect even the most stoic of folks.
We have seen clients become so overwhelmed they were paralyzed to move forward. We have seen other clients who handled the transition well, but had difficulty adjusting to the new home and all the changes the new space brought with it. Even getting used to new television stations, new neighbors, new habits or lack of habits, new noises or lack of noises can be enough to cause buyer’s remorse, irritability, depression and more.
Change is difficult, but it can be even more difficult the older we get. Humans are very adaptable beings; however, the time it takes to adjust to change becomes more time-consuming and more difficult the older we are. In fact, professionals tell us that environmental change in our 70’s and 80’s can take anywhere from 6-8 weeks before we feel at home again.
Psychologists’ Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale lists move-related stress at #3 on the list of high stress-provoking life events, just under the levels of stress related to Death of a Spouse and Divorce.
The North American Nursing Diagnosis Association even recognized “Relocation Stress Syndrome” as an official diagnosis in 1992. It is defined as the physiological and psychosocial disturbances that result from a transfer from one environment to another. In fact, stress-related ailments make up 75% of all doctor’s visits in the United States. Symptoms can include depression, increased anxiety, withdrawal, confusion and multiple other symptoms, which can certainly exacerbate any current medial conditions present.
In other words, it’s a big deal!
So, what can we do about it?
There is no need to consider staying where you are. Go ahead and plan to move if that suits your needs. There are several ways to help mitigate the effects of this emotional stress.
Plan Ahead
First and foremost, PLAN AHEAD! Give yourself several months to prepare for this move, which may possibly be your last move. Sorting through every nook and cranny of your home and property takes time. Time you will want to discover things you have forgotten you had and opportunities to revisit those memories. Realizing ahead of time this transition may affect you emotionally is half the battle.
You Can’t Take It All
Recognize at the onset that you cannot take everything with you and decisions will need to be made to purge a large amount of goods. Remember, you no longer wanted the responsibility of maintaining things anymore, right? Most of these items are things you have not used in years. Experience has shown us that family and friends very likely do not need or want them either.
You have other options for finding homes for your belongings, just ask us. Recognize that although the process seems like you are giving up a lot, you will be gaining more in the freedom of a new stress-free lifestyle where there is more time for things you enjoy. We are specially trained to assist with your sorting, downsizing and liquidation needs.
Create a Space Plan
Work out a space plan that is to scale of your new home to ensure everything you wish to take will fit. Not just fit, but have a comfortable, safe space it will live that won't become a tripping hazard or ruin the aesthetics of your new home. This also saves you money in the long run by not taking too much stuff. We are happy to create a space plan for you.
Choose a Partner
Work with someone. This not only is an overwhelming task but may pose strain on an already frail body or other physical limitations. Working with a friend or family member makes the time go faster and makes the time involved not feel so overwhelming. It is good to have a partner to listen to reminiscent stories, which becomes part of a healthy letting-go process. The person you choose to work with should be someone who is patient; who will honor your wishes and let you be in control; who will not create more chaos by being late or disorganized.
We are specially trained to work with you for not only your physical needs but your emotional ones also. Just ask us. Being forewarned is also being forearmed to handle what comes your way. Older adults also tend to cherish relationships more than things as time rolls on. Keeping in mind this quote from Socrates - “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” may also help you reach your goal.